Thursday, October 15, 2009

What I have learned...

Last year at this time we were celebrating every sound Courtney could hear. Today, we are not only celebrating the sounds she hears, but the words she says. It has been an amazing journey with ups and downs, but overall good. I can't help but reflect on all of the things I have learned as I met a young mother recently who thinks her son is deaf, but is afraid to tell anyone. She heard Courtney talk over the phone and I couldn't help but feel emotional, not sad, just emotional. Most things I already knew, but were simply confirmed this past year.

I have learned that as a parent we will sacrifice everything for their well being, for them to be successful. I have met families who have moved to another country to get the best care/therapy they could find. We are only trying to move to another city and it is difficult, I can't imagine another country!

I have learned that for everything in life there is a season and every person chooses what that season is. For me, I am a mom, a wife and a business owner. I can't be the best athlete, I can be in shape, but running a marathon will have to wait. I want to go back to school for my doctorate, but that too will have to wait. It is not my season. However, I love the season I am in.

I get to drop off and pick up my kids from school, not everyone can do that. I get to keep Courtney at home most of the time. I have a flexible enough schedule that I can make a doctor appointment, dentist appointment, or schedule surgery for myself or my kids any time or day of the week. With that comes sacrifices I am willing to make because I can't do it all. If I say yes to something I am saying no to something else, and that is okay.

I have learned that in a marriage the feelings love turn into actions of love. Filling up my car with gas, loading my car before a business trip at 6:15am, getting the boys ready and taking them to school at 6:45am every morning he is home so I can work out in the morning, and the list goes one. It is truly the little things.

I have learned that I couldn't be the mom, wife and friend I am today if it weren't for my parents. As I dive deeper into parenthood I understand the importance of being a good role model. I am so thankful for their continuous support through all of our trials and tribulations. They have taught me there is always a solution, never quit, work hard, be fair, be kind, to name a few. Thank you.

Most importantly I have learned what unwavering faith is. It is not something that comes easy, but is the biggest blessing to actually exercise it and leave every worry, sorrow, hurt and pain to Him. Sometimes we get the confirmation that everything will be okay. I now know that okay may not be the answer we want (i.e. I wanted Courtney to be able to hear - that would have made me okay). Well, Courtney is deaf and I am okay. Life is difficult, but I know in the end I will be okay.

As I reflect, I feel humbled at the many blessings I have been given. God is good, life is good!