Candids

I am horrible with a camera and trying to remember to grab the camera, but not my mom! Whenever she comes she always gets the best shots! I have included a sample of a few of my favorites. I love these little guys so much and am so thankful for my family. Their love for not only Bryan and I, but for each other is beautiful, innocent and so pure. Thank you Jeremy, Logan and Courtney for bringing us a lot of love (and chaos)! I can't imagine it any other way!

Thank you to a tooth

Dear Tooth,

I just wanted to thank you so much for joining our group of friends. The two kids downstairs were getting lonely because no one else seemed to be showing up! If you could encourage your other friends that have been hiding underground with you to come up for some sunshine that would be wonderful. We have been trying for some time to eat popcorn, meat and expand our taste buds, but it just gets difficult, if not depressing doing it alone.

I am on the welcoming committee and we need more individuals like yourself to join us. Courtney provides us with a great place to live and grow. We are just thrilled that you are here. Again, I just wanted to extend my gratitude for arriving. It is better late than never! I hope you grow to be nice, pretty and strong. See you around.

Love,
Your new friend, Molar. (I am the one upstairs in the far back right corner!)

"Kohler, we wouldn't expect anything less!"

I had the weirdest day ever yesterday....

Bryan and I woke up to the normal sounds of the boys running down the hallway and Courtney hollering to let us know she is awake. The boys went into Courtney's room to get her out of her crib when we heard a crash. Again, nothing out of the ordinary, with three kids things are always crashing!! With Courtney sounding a little uncomfortable I got up to investigate.

I found Courtney on the ground on the side of her crib with Jeremy crouched beside her and Logan half way into the crib to jump on the bed. As I scooped up Courtney to put her "ears" on and change her I asked Jeremy if they fell over while he was getting her out. He told me, "No, she just fell into the wall." I thought yeah right and went on about my business. Courtney was still fussing which she sometimes does when I change her. As I finished changing her and sat her up on the changing table she took a nose dive into the wall. Okay that was weird.

I picked her up to console her when she started swaying back and forth. She seemed out of it. I took her into my bedroom and sat her on the bed, she fell over again. Her head was still swaying back and forth. Okay, I began to panic. Bryan immediately jumped up and went to the computer. I tried to put her down, she fell over. She had no balance what so ever. Then, she began throwing up. I was ready to take her to the ER!!

Fortunately I have a sane husband who told me it was probably all related to her ear infection that she was taking oral antibiotics for since Friday. It all sounded good in theory, but as of Friday, she had tubes in both ears, so why was her equilibrium off? I called my girlfriend who was supposed to come over to let the kids play. I told her I wasn't sure what was going on, but that we were going to call the doctor as soon as they opened.

The doctor takes about 50 minutes to get to so at 8:09 Bryan told her I could make it there by 9 as we all stood there in our pajamas. Ahhh! I made it there just a few minutes late. By the time we arrived Courtney seemed better and kept asking to get down. I tried, but she couldn't walk. She would just fall over. She would look at me with these big eyes confused as to what was going on. We quickly went back and saw the PA. He checked out her ears and confirmed that she did have an ear infection and that that could be why she is off balance, etc., but he wanted to consult with the doctor to be sure because it isn't normal.

As he stepped out the panic set in. I texted my mom freaking out. What?! Can't we just suction her ear and move on? About an hour later he comes back in and tells me that he and the doctor both think her imbalance is due to her ear infection and that she doesn't have a tube in her left ear. Somehow between Friday and Monday she had lost her tube. She was having negative pressure in her ear which may effect her balance. He changed her antibiotic to a stronger one and said that we were to come back in 10-14 days to see if she has improved. And, informed me that more than likely she would need to have another set of tubes put in. So off we went two hours later.

I called home where my friend had already arrived and another one on the way. Bryan informed me that Logan had a doctor's appointment with the dermatologist because he had a few HUGE boils on his bum. He has had this before and it was staph, so to the doctor he went. I picked up pizza for all of us on the way home. When I go there we let little girl down and she would zig and zag and crash to the ground. Now, when our kids have come off of sedation drugs we chuckled when they stumbled around like little drunks, but this made my heart hurt. She would be calling my name and just fall down. Oh, it made my heart hurt.

She slowly improved, but she was definitely tired. I put her down for a nap, tried to visit with my girlfriends and got Bryan and Logan out the door when the phone rang. The showing service wanted to know if a realtor could show our house in an hour from 3-5. Thank goodness for true friends who helped me run around and pick up my house. The day was seeming so crazy. I apologized to my friends who one of them told me, "Kohler, we don't expect anything less!" Great, a bout of some sort of vertigo and a possible staph infection seems normal for the Kohlers to my friends.

In the middle of all of this the pharmacy called and said that they or their sister companies didn't have the antibiotic in stock. After Bryan and I discussed that it isn't the first time we have had to go to Austin for a prescription (some crazy drug when Logan contracted giardia) the pharmacy calls back and said that they don't have it, but they do have the name brand for $25. What?! If you would have told me that to begin with, we would have agreed to forgo the generic and saved the headache!

I wake Courtney up to go meet Bryan and Logan to head to the outlet mall to get shoes for the kids since we had nothing else to good. Hind sight, not a good idea. What was I thinking taking a contagious staph infected boy out in public! I am one of "those" people now! Logan does have a staph infection and boils did burst which is completely disgusting, but apparently has to happen or you have to lance it off. The doctor took a culture and sent it off to rule out MRSA. What?! That can't be good!

So, all the kids got new shoes, we picked up our prescriptions and headed home. We fed and bathed the kids and bleached half the house! It was a weird day. Courtney is doing much better, but still a little off balance when she first touches ground. Logan has improved as well. Oh, the potential buyers liked the house, loved the floors, but it wasn't quite big enough for them! Maybe next time!

What I have learned...

Last year at this time we were celebrating every sound Courtney could hear. Today, we are not only celebrating the sounds she hears, but the words she says. It has been an amazing journey with ups and downs, but overall good. I can't help but reflect on all of the things I have learned as I met a young mother recently who thinks her son is deaf, but is afraid to tell anyone. She heard Courtney talk over the phone and I couldn't help but feel emotional, not sad, just emotional. Most things I already knew, but were simply confirmed this past year.

I have learned that as a parent we will sacrifice everything for their well being, for them to be successful. I have met families who have moved to another country to get the best care/therapy they could find. We are only trying to move to another city and it is difficult, I can't imagine another country!

I have learned that for everything in life there is a season and every person chooses what that season is. For me, I am a mom, a wife and a business owner. I can't be the best athlete, I can be in shape, but running a marathon will have to wait. I want to go back to school for my doctorate, but that too will have to wait. It is not my season. However, I love the season I am in.

I get to drop off and pick up my kids from school, not everyone can do that. I get to keep Courtney at home most of the time. I have a flexible enough schedule that I can make a doctor appointment, dentist appointment, or schedule surgery for myself or my kids any time or day of the week. With that comes sacrifices I am willing to make because I can't do it all. If I say yes to something I am saying no to something else, and that is okay.

I have learned that in a marriage the feelings love turn into actions of love. Filling up my car with gas, loading my car before a business trip at 6:15am, getting the boys ready and taking them to school at 6:45am every morning he is home so I can work out in the morning, and the list goes one. It is truly the little things.

I have learned that I couldn't be the mom, wife and friend I am today if it weren't for my parents. As I dive deeper into parenthood I understand the importance of being a good role model. I am so thankful for their continuous support through all of our trials and tribulations. They have taught me there is always a solution, never quit, work hard, be fair, be kind, to name a few. Thank you.

Most importantly I have learned what unwavering faith is. It is not something that comes easy, but is the biggest blessing to actually exercise it and leave every worry, sorrow, hurt and pain to Him. Sometimes we get the confirmation that everything will be okay. I now know that okay may not be the answer we want (i.e. I wanted Courtney to be able to hear - that would have made me okay). Well, Courtney is deaf and I am okay. Life is difficult, but I know in the end I will be okay.

As I reflect, I feel humbled at the many blessings I have been given. God is good, life is good!

Okay

Okay, so I am feeling a bit emotional! The good news is we met with the geneticist yesterday and Courtney does not appear to have any type of syndrome. She is growing and progressing normally and we just need to continue working on her speech and listening skills. There is one genetic test we can do which is for a mutation in the Connexin 30 gene. More than likely we will do this blood test to see if that is the cause of her hearing impairment. Other than that we are thankful that she is a healthy beautiful little girl!

There really isn't any bad news other than this overwhelming feeling of mommy guilt I hold. Most of the time I feel like Courtney is doing great, but then I wonder if she would say more than her few words if I worked with her more. I get all crazy in my head with so many strategies that maybe I am not focusing enough on the correct ones? We narrate everything, I am sure I could read more, I haven't pulled out the animals in a while, but we do work on, up, down, open, close, on, off ALL of the time, and of course the Ling sounds. She can hear things that I never thought she would, but then she doesn't reflect that in the sound booth?!

Am I not working with her enough? It seems on the days I am supposed to work with her (Tuesdays and Thursdays) they become errand and appointment days and we really don't get any good quiet time in. Oh I feel torn. I know deep down she is doing well, but I would be lying if I said I didn't get a small pang inside when I see other hearing children her age and she is behind. Even her stinkin' teeth are behind! Almost 20 months and only one tooth!

Okay....... I am okay, I just needed to get it out.

Just Another Day at T-Ball

Things are moving along nicely here at the Kohler house - thank goodness because Mommy and Daddy are off to Hawaii for a week on Monday!! Yahoo!! It is a bit of a logistical nightmare coordinating the kids with friends, but fortunately Stacy, Momo and Miss Judy are jumping in! Thank you! I am anxious to see how the week goes while we are gone - especially after today.

While at Jeremy's Tball practice, Logan (potty training) decided to take his pants off at the playground and tee tee! From a distance it looked like he was peeing on a little girl! Another mom hollers at me to look and the mother of the little girl and I run across the field to check it out. Meanwhile I totally leave Courtney in the dust! Bryan is on shift, of course! It turns out he was just showing her that he peed on his shorts on accident and couldn't pull up his underwear. It was a good teaching moment about being polite and not peeing outside or in front of girls. And, to tell Mommy or Daddy when you have to go, not to just whip it out! During my lovely teaching moment I hear another mother yell, "Ma'am, uh, your daughter..." Courtney had walked clear across the field and is half way up the stairs to the jungle gym. Holy crap!

I scooped her up and gathered my kids to headed back - a bit embarrassed and wondering what all the other people think of the Kohlers?! Especially, since at this point Courtney was walking dragging Jeremy's bat. Jeremy was proud of his hat full of rocks he collected during practice, rather than actually practicing. And Logan was walking in nothing but a T-shirt, red monkey underwear and blue crocs! All I could do was laugh! The sad thing is that is about par for the course for me!!

Quick Poll

I am just curious... for those parents whose kids were late teethers, how old were they when one finally popped through?